Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
