Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
