I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
did i just pee glitter
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
