he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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