No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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