I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
