There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
