were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
