Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
