I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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