Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she peed on how many people?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
