You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
