Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
