Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
