If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
