We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
