I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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