We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
