Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i think my cat just said my name.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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