I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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