we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
