she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
