we're blogging at a bar
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
