i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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