I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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