jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
they're like a gay fantastic four
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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