end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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