There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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