she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
