Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
