i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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