I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
