I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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