better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
