I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
