There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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