There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
