I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
