If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The air was thick with penises
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
