Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
