Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
