Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize