I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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