i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize