Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
