just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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