we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
