Can Purell be used as lube?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
