my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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