Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
