I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
