she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
