i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
