I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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