Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize