Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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