All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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